This northern nursing stuff is crazy! fun, inspiring, interesting, hard, exhausting etc..

I graduate in 2 days, officially.


I'm glad you finally realized that you fucked it all up. you had exactly what you wanted, a partner. And you broke it and fucked it all up. There is something very satisfying about knowing that. you're right, you did.


I have a cold. Studying for an exam on everything is hard enough. doing it with a cold is worse.

I keep thinking I need to take some time off, but the $$$$$ for going north keeps calling me.
Holy freakin moly. it's kinda ridiculous.



back to the books.

Pictures ---------> http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=266858&id=656940170&l=d0811ae831


Ordered to take a week off due to H1N1 ... got a whole lot of nothing done, but thankful for the time off to recoup.

Ever meet someone and instantly know you want to be their friend? It's only happened a couple of times in my life. It happened again yesterday. .... and thanks to a little internet googling, I understand why. Some people have incredible energy and unimaginable strength ... I love those people. I want my life filled with them!



I applied to graduate yesterday!


Frances and I had a discussion yesterday. Kenny and I have been getting along better than I think we almost ever have, ever. She always says oh you guys are gonna end up together forever.
I used to always think that too, but I don't hold on to that anymore. What if we don't? I get to be miserable because all my imaginary plans fell through ?
I'm going to be happy in my life regardless... there are so many things I want to do. So many things I can't EVER imagine him doing.... my sense of adventure is burning.....

My graduate school adventure is ending, so there's a new one beginning.... I just don't know what it is yet.....

I want to see this pics on a larger screen. The sunsets here are amazing!

I played wii for the first time tonight! omg it was fun!!!
I am the most random bowler EVER!!!!
I KICKED Matt's ASS my very first time playing and then I sucked! the last game!

I'm like that in real life too!!!


I want my cam cable so I can post the pics from Sandy Lake!


we might go camping for the weekend in a couple of weeks....

I am tired!

Went out with Frances and Denise last night, Elaine stopped by too. I'd post the pics., but forgot my cable to connect my cam in Toronto (soooo the parentals will have to send it to me.


Out til 1230

Then Kenny came over cause was driving me to the airport at the crack of dawn (0430).


I think I had maybe an hour of sleep (and not real sleep).... then my flight was delayed an hour, because one of the flight attendants came to work sick and was not allowed to fly (who knew you HAD to have two flight attendants? ) so we had to wait for one to fly in from Montreal.

Finally in Thunder Bay, small nap, a little food.

Now I need to get crackin on this paper, but I am sleepy and wanna lay around and read my book or watch TV.


Tomorrow the big adventure starts.



If only I could get 6 more pages to flow beautifully out of my finger tips....

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeearly!




I'm excited!

I'm happy.

Everything is super fucking excellent right now! I have eveything I want!





:)

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

You're gonna say you don't need the stress... and I am gonna say I don't need you.

we're both lying. whaddaya gonna do?


I'm gonna go out with Daniel tonight if he's not tired after his disaster training. He has got to be one of the most positive people I have ever met. I need some of that right now.


I can't believe I still have days like this a fucking year later.



Happy note: I got a northern placement for one of my last 2 placements for school! ... 6 weeks on a northern reservation (maybe I dunno the location yet). It's gonna be like a bad habit detox for me.
Cell phone off cause I can't afford to pay the roaming or the LD charges .. (ppls will have to call/email/facebook me...)
no late night creepin
no comfort(prison) of my bedroom
no dumb boys
emotional detox
and a jump onto the circut wagon ... I can't wait til I have time to exercise more than twice a week. I feel like I just don't have the time to spare right now...

and I didn't get A LOT of work done either.... but I supose it could be worse. I got some of the most boring reading EVER done and my patho question etc... Cardio and a lovely walk with my lil muffin & friend.


so not totally unproductive.

I'm getting a bunch o cash back from my taxes (thank god!) ... plus now that marks are starting to tricle in (thanks york strike) I will be able to submit to the RNAO and St. Mike's for some tuition help! .... which means I MIGHT survive the next few months. I give up working @ the end of April until sometime around the first week of August. Holy Moly that is kinda scary. Since January 2002 I have never "not worked". I may pick up an occassional saturday (8hr day max) ... we shall see. I will be working 40hrs/week for free and will still have a class and assignments, and I have to come up with an idea for my research proposal (AMY HELP!), and I have to write my proposal and if I get a northern placement I will have to do a presentation ... so it's not like I wont have enough to do .. along with looking up assessments etc for the upcoming clients, crazy conditions etc..



I had a dream the other night that I was a shitty NP. My fall from expert cardiac RN to novice NP has been a hard one... Talk to me in January 2010 ... I am hoping to have my feet under me by then ...


blah blah blah ....


I'm happy the sun is coming out :) Winter has sucked for me.... I really really really do hate it .... *le sigh*

I'm getting B's and I'm not used to it.
But this stuff is hard... and the volume is ridiculous.








Blah blah blah




Turns out George is married. With an autistic child.....which kinda makes him a super duper DOUCHE BAG in my eyes.

The world is small. people like to talk.


Sucks though, I prefer being an optimist. But these boys are making it harder & harder....

I don't want to hate it, but I do.







blah blah blah ....





btw I hate OSCEs ... but I just did my last one ever. How fucking strange is that? .... i feel like I don't know shit! How can I graduate and have to do all this stuff on my own??? Being a novice again sucks! .... I like being confident in my shit!

The brides maids came from Miami, Charlotte NC, Toronto & Tokyo

the FB albums are:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=208726&l=4bcc4&id=656940170


http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=208732&l=9e529&id=656940170


http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=208748&l=162fe&id=656940170


I had SUCH a good time! .... how the ridiculous anxiety I have felt about NOT reading 30 hours last weekend has damped the happy emotions... I am happy for Gretchen & Shane because they are SOOOOO happy.... but I find weddings so weird.

So York has been legislated back to work.



I am mixed on the decision.... I am glad I will get to graduate this year.
I am over whelmed with the NP program/ It's kinda insane... the amount of knowledge you are supposed to be able to absorb in 1 year... I am trying.

I am really liking my placement @ Toronto Gen ER... I drained my first abscess yesterday :) It grosses me out to watch, when I do it my self it doesn't bother me at all. whooooop whoooop my very first I&D (incision and drainage!!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My preceptor kinda hit on me... he was just testing the waters. But he just added to my disappointment in men. I mean, you can't keep it professional for 3 months while I'm your student? really? just 3? can't you hit on me after that? not that I wanted him to hit on me at all ....

dating is kinda fun. I've had a few on the go recently, it's been a while. There's really only one with potential so far... it's more like possible potential....


I'm so stressed with school .... holy shit! February is gonna suck large .... midterm is the fucking worst! !!!!!


I want it to be over, I want to have finished my first year an NP, so I don't have to doubt myself in everything I do!!!!!

fuck this shit! I'm going to bed!








oi! .... yay! work! uh huh.



Goodnight :/


p.s. I want to move to an island!
Seriously.
I am not kidding.
get away, get free.
on an island :)

Ok.
I lied. I fucking hate your GUTS tonight. But I will get over it. I always do.




.....I'm looking out the windshield, not the rear view.

Tres interesting.



Me likey!




back to the school grind....*le sigh*

they always want it after it's gone ....






....oh well. take me out. entertain me. I AM frying big FISH! (and it can make a girl thirsty!!!!)




I am about toi embark on my last semester of classes. Then one more semester of clinical and BAM! I'm a nurse practitioner (after i write my exam... but still).




So sir, if you want to a take a thirsty fish frying girl out for a drink... by all means, here I am. But I have no time for nonesense (just alcoholic beverages.... and maybe a ride in the Aston Martin... maybe, if u're lucky!)